It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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