biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
