I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
