My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
