If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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