Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
