You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
