New invention idea: vibrating tampons
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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