Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
