Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
