I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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