I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
