I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
