the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
