I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
