pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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