three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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