drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
