we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
