If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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