dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
