Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
