So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As shirtless as possible
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
