I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
