she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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