I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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