So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
