New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
