normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
