I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
