she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
