He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Bring me that man meat
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
