just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
