hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it hurts more in the daytime
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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