Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
