He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
