Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
