You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i barfeds in our rink
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
