you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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