"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
