i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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