i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
