Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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