office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
