Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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