I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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