The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
