he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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