is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
