I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
