And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
